crazy crazie

so i met a friend of a friend today. this guy was perhaps the most interesting living caricature i've ever met. He is a master martial arts guy, and exuded an intensity like no one i've ever met. intense. like.. really fucking intense. the guy showed us his set of swords. i believe he spent $10,000 for the three of them. real shark skin, fire-tested blades, the whole bit. He gave this intense-ass speech about the souls living in the blade, and something about requesting their permission to allow the swordsman to add to their count. at least this is what i imagined he was saying. he showed us where blood had stained one of his swords. apparently blood leaves a mark. he said all blades need to feel blood. he really said that. and then he recounted the tail of a deer he beheaded (after it was shot) with his fucking. ninja. sword.

i think the guy pisses testosterone and shit machismo. i imagine him to go to a drive-through like mcdonalds and have a dialog like this:

intensemofo: Hey! I WANT A NUMBER FIVE.
mcdonalds employee: okay, a number five? what kind of drink do you want with that?
intensemofo: FUCK YOU! I WANT A NUMBER FIVE!
mcdonalds employee: ....

I would bet that his blood pressure is in the neighborhood of 500/7. this guy was THAT FUCKING INTENSE. he was so intense that i feel like i'm on 24 right now and that macguyver is guest-starring with me and is making a lockpick out of a popped balloon and a yo-yo.

the guy took us out to some places in the area and talked about how there were so many girls. he didnt say it so much in a chester way as it was in a kind of lonely, "bullshit women exist. where do they live? in the north pole with santa claus? no such thing as a woman...HOLY SHIT ITS A WOMAN" sort of way. this what i mean by caricature.

he drank a bunch by himself. i'm sure he's not going to sleep tonight. rather, he will sit in a room with paper walls and hold his sword. like a ninja.

man i think im going to shit a ninja star.

in other news, this was on wired (i cant find the article). roaming bands of rockabillies and hardcore fans are going around jumping emo kids. i find this kind of funny. they call them emosexuals. apparently emo kids are responding and protesting their right to.. literally be "emo". seriously. shut the fuck up. we all feel sad here and there, but the day i let a fucking dashboard confessional cd determine my lifestyle is the same day i get "soulja boy is god" tattooed on my face.